Sometimes I Miss You
Sometimes I miss you.
Not often, just sometimes.
Like when I'm driving past your exit
something in me remembers
going down that way.
Even though I don't turn off the road
to find you
seeing that I've decided
to never
get off the path again
I still feel a connection to where I used to be.
And I guess - I guess that's ok.
Because feeling a connection
every now and then
and actually being connected
in the way that we were
are not the same thing.
Thank God.
I guess it would be like
what an alcoholic feels.
Now, I'm talking about an alcoholic
who's gone through
the twelve step program
successfully
and is now relieved
no longer grieved
unbound and freed
from unhealthy needs.
Yet, every now and then
she can walk past that place
she used to go
and hear it calling
her name.
Not that she answers.
Make no mistake now -
she does not answer.
Why?
Because she knows
that what she hears
is a lie
a broken promise
a subtle voice
trying to pull her back
into
that which God
has delivered her from.
And because she knows
she doesn't have to go that way
she keeps walking
and then starts talking
telling God,
Thank you, Lord,
for delivering me
from my pain.
Like that alcoholic
I know that I've been freed.
I guess that's why
I'm so glad
that
even though I miss you
it's only
sometimes.
Written by Michelle Stewart 1/21/98
© 2011 Michelle Stewart Thomas
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